Getting a Loved One to Officiate? Here’s What They Should Know (from a Photographer’s POV)
Having a loved one officiate is so special. This blog is here to help you plan a great ceremony with them
There’s something really special about having someone you love stand with you at the front on your wedding day. Maybe it’s your best friend, your sibling, or that one cousin who can make anyone laugh through tears. Having a personal connection makes the ceremony feel intimate, heartfelt, and totally you.
That said, professional officiants are amazing at what they do. They know the flow of a ceremony inside and out, help calm nerves, and make sure everything runs seamlessly from start to finish. But, it’s also completely understandable why some couples choose a friend or family member to lead their ceremony instead- it adds a deeply personal touch that can’t be replicated.
If that’s your plan, this post is here to help! Officiating is a bigger job than it looks; there’s timing, direction, projection, and a whole lot of eyes (and cameras) watching. So, to set your loved one up for success (and to make sure your ceremony runs smoothly and photographs beautifully), here are a few tried-and-true tips. Feel free to send this their way!
One of our local professional officiants, Laura, she knows how to direct a crowd and get some chuckles too!
1. Direct the Guests (Yes, You’re Allowed to Do That!)
When the bride or partner walks down the aisle, it’s lovely for guests to stand, but even lovelier when they’re told to sit again afterward. Without that cue, everyone ends up awkwardly standing through the vows, blocking views (and photos). This can also be tough on guests with mobility considerations who have trouble standing for long periods of time. So, officiants, don’t be shy about saying, “You may all be seated.” It’s a tiny detail that makes a big difference.
This officiant had the couple hold hands while she directed the ceremony, picture-perfect positioning!
2. Stand Smart
The best setup? The couple is facing each other, holding hands, with the officiant centered but slightly back. This creates a natural triangle- balanced, flattering, and full of connection.
What doesn’t work: the couple standing with their backs to the aisle, or side-by-side facing the officiant. Guests can’t see the emotion on their faces, and photographers can’t either.
This officiant was special to the couple, so I am glad she was in the shot, but she wasn’t the focus. She also looked so happy for the couple in that moment. ♥
3. Step Aside for the First Kiss
It’s a beautiful, emotional moment… and it’s even better when there isn’t an officiant hovering right behind the kiss, smiling awkwardly like an extra in a rom-com. When you cue the kiss, take two big steps to the side. It keeps the focus (and the photo) right where it belongs.
This officiant kept the mic propped up so that the guests could hear everything well. He also positioned it in front of the couple’s mouths when they spoke.
4. Mind the Mic (or the Voice)
Nerves make people talk faster and quieter; it’s totally normal. But for the sake of guests and recordings, slow down, take a breath, and project. Pretend the person in the back row is your audience. If you’re using a mic, hold it close to your mouth (not down by your chest). You’ve got this.
Even during an indoor ceremony, this officiant was able to step back a little so that the focus was on the couple
5. Leave a Little Breathing Room
A common mistake is everyone standing too close together. It feels intimate, but in photos, it looks cramped. A few inches of space between the couple and the officiant gives room for movement, emotion, and those beautiful in-between moments.
This amazing professional officiant always knew how to lead couples through the ceremony with seamless prompts
6. Cue the Big Moments
Transitions can feel awkward if no one knows what’s happening next. A simple glance or a soft “you may now…” goes a long way. Tell guests when to stand or sit, cue the exchange of rings, and let everyone know when it’s time for the kiss. Smooth cues = smooth ceremony.
A wedding ceremony can happen in a flash if you don’t get a moment to truly take it all in
7. Slow Down, Enjoy the Occasion
The ceremony doesn’t need to be long, but it should breathe. When you pause between sentences or moments, it lets guests absorb the emotion- and it gives photographers a chance to move quietly around you, capturing the story as it unfolds. (Win-win.) I’ve also seen officiants ask the couple to take a moment to look at the crowd and take in all of their loved ones surrounding them on their special day, which is often a joyful moment.
Not only was this groom smiling when he saw his bride coming down the aisle, but the officiant was absolutely radiating joy as well ♥
8. Be Part of the Energy (Not the Distraction)
Your role is important, but you’re also part of the atmosphere. Keep your posture open, stay relaxed, and smile. A warm, calm officiant helps the couple relax too, and looks great in photos. No need to overdo it; just be yourself, but confident.
A rehearsal makes things easier for everyone, and it makes the real moment a breeze
9. Rehearse the Basics
Even a quick 10-minute run-through before guests arrive can make a huge difference. Practice walking in, where to stand, when to cue the kiss. You’ll feel calmer, and everything will look effortless.
If you know what to expect, things tend to run smoothly, and you can all enjoy the ceremony so much more
10. Bonus: Check the Ceremony Spot in Advance
If possible, scope out the space beforehand. You’ll get a sense of where the wind hits (hello, flying hair and paper), where the sun will be, and whether you’ll need to speak up over rushing water or mountain breezes. Preparation is confidence.
I love that this gentleman was prepared with a highlighted section in his speech/notes, the ceremony was perfect!
A Note for the Couple
If you’re having a loved one officiate, talk through these details together. They don’t need to be a pro; they just need to feel comfortable and clear on what matters. A few small tweaks can turn a “winging it” ceremony into something that feels intentional, natural, and beautifully you.
You’re giving someone an incredible honour, let’s set them up to shine.
With these tips, your ceremony will flow effortlessly, your officiant will feel like a rockstar, and your photos will tell the story just as it deserves- full of emotion, love, and zero awkward kiss photobombs.
Hey! It’s awesome to meet you!
About Megan Posein Photography
I’m Megan, a Jasper wedding and elopement photographer who’s captured countless “I do’s” across the Rockies. From my wild home in the mountains, I help couples plan a day that feels true to them, and photograph it with heart, humour, and intention.
If you’re planning your Jasper wedding or elopement, you can explore more real wedding stories, tips, and inspiration at Megan Posein Photography’s blog here.
